Never mind, I'm back now - and I've brought soup! French - no, English - no, wait on, Swiss - no, stuff it, let's just proudly call it Eumundi Onion Soup. And let me tell you, this may be the best darned bowl of soup I've ever made.
So why the national identity crisis? Everyone knows it's a French classic, surely?
Well, it was until Jamie Oliver came along and beefed it up with every imagineable variety of onion he could lay his hands on, truckloads of British cheddar, and a submarine-sized slab of ciabatta submerged into the bowl. Let me tell you, I've watched this particular episode of Jamie at Home at least five times, and every time he whips that unbelievably rich and rustic dish of English Onion Soup from under the grill, I want to take a bite out of the TV set.
Sadly, I don't have Jamie's ridiculously picturesque English country garden from which to tug armfuls of organic soil-encrusted leeks, shallots, spring onions, brown onions, white onions, garlic ... (I am working on it). But happily, I do have the wonderful farmers at the Yandina markets, where one can effortlessly harvest a brimming basket load of squeaky fresh onions of all shapes, sizes and intensities (see above).

Sorry to seem a traitor to Eumundi, but it has to be said that Yandina market has far more farmers per square metre. Best of all though, at Yandina you can find the most delicious, outrageously pungent, hand-crafted Swiss cheese - cheese that would make any English cheddar look very, very tame: the infamous Snake Bite!! One of the extraordinarily fine products from the Aussie-Swiss boys at Fromart, Snake Bite is a cheese to make grown men weep (Phil: "How can anything that smells so bad taste so good?"). Be warned: this is not a cheese for first date snacks, or to nibble before important job interviews. It is, however, a cheese par excellence for cooking, guaranteed to lift even a humble toasted sanger to restaurant-worthy status.
(Feeling sad cause you don't live here? Understandable - but no need to miss out. Not only do Fromart sell at a number of markets, they mail order! Yay! Check their site for details)
Above: Fromart's big cheese Christian Nobel (photo from fromartdotcomdotau.)
And so, armed to the teeth with fresh local produce, here's how I set about making a crowd-pleasing potful of:
Eumundi (okay - Yandina) Swiss French Onion Soup
- Melt a fat knob of butter and a couple of swigs of olive oil in your biggest, butchest soup pot. Then add a mountain of finely sliced onions, leeks, garlic et al, plus some sage, plus a generous seasoning of salt and pepper.
- Stew extremely gently and slowly - for at least an hour. (J.O. suggests 50 minutes with lid ajar, then 20 minutes with lid off, and I followed this to the letter. Trust me, he knows what he's talking about. The soup will be nothing - nothin' - unless you take the time, and care, to let the onions become sweet, juicy, sticky and sensational.)
- Add a couple of litres of beef or veggie stock (Tip: I highly recommend Massel - Aussie company, all natural, great product). At this point I also like to throw in a glassful of dry white wine or vermouth. Return to boiling point, then simmer on low for around 15-20 minutes.
- That's pretty much it! Just ladle the soup into bowls, and top each with a chunky slab of toasted ciabatta style bread - half shoved into the soup is good. (Tip: Just to redeem myself, might I add that Gympie Farm sell a beautifully dense and crusty loaf at their Eumundi market stall)
- Top with a layer of grated Snake Bite, or other X-rated cheese, a drizzle of worcestershire sauce, a couple of sage leaves and a sprinkle of olive oil.
- Now place bowls under a hot grill until the cheese melts to a glorious, bubbling, golden-brown.

(Left: Brian lurks behind J.O. in that enviable garden. Photo from Brian Skilton Facebook fan page - of which there are two, would you believe?)
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